pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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