when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
