why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
