If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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