I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
