All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
