Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
