dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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