i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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