Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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