We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
