she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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