If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
