Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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