Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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