when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
