Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
