he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
