One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
