i think i have herpe
just one?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
