Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
