Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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