i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
