I want you more than these girls want KFC
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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