Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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