Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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