Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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