Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
