it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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