This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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