Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
