I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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