I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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