Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
