Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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