New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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