What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
