I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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