i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fuck appropriateness.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
