i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
