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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

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• (858): View more from California

  i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.

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