I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
