So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
