just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
