Welp...herpes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
