I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
