I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
