Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
