I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
