The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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