Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
